As my "darling" little brother has pointed out, I haven't posted lately. I've been very busy. So suck it up. All three of you.
As far as why I've been busy... well... since April 1 (my last real post) I've:
- Buried my Grandfather
- *Gone on Vacation
- Moved
- *Buried Aiden
- *Gone to a Wedding
Items marked with * were out of state.
So yeah I've been busy. And most of the busyness has been very emotional for me. I'm not one to share my emotion with the world at large. So not a lot of what I go through on that level gets posted, because if I don't share it with you, then it's probably none of your damn business. Nothing personal, but I have a good close network of friends who I share with who I know will provide the support I need. Maybe someday you'll be in that group, and if so, you'll know I'll talk to you directly, rather than through this page.
That said, I do appreciate those people who do read the page, and things should be calming down a bit in my personal life (work is another matter, it's about to go all kinds of stupid) so I hope to have a chance to write more soon. In the mean time, go read the Baroque Cycle by Neal Stephenson. That'll keep you busy.
You forgot to include help friends pack to move and entertained guests for a week.
Don't be so hard on yourself. The last six months have been very hard on you and it's going to take time to start to feel like yourself again. You have made tough decisions, lost your son, and made memorial arrangements (not once but twice; thinking of family members needs more than your
own). These are all decisions that a person your age should never have to make. You have also
helped your wife and brother-in-law through major surgeries, fought with your landlord, looked
at a million apartments before finding the right one and struggle everyday with the decision to remain employed where you really aren't happy.
Give yourself time to heal and feel strong again. I'm drawing on personal experience and I can tell you that you can only run on emotions, adrenaline, and sheer will powere for so long and then you need to crash for awhile. Spend sometime feeling sorry for yourself and if it feels good enjoy it. Just don't stay there.
As for the rest of the world, if you never made another post to this page, it would still keep revolving and wouldn't fall off it's axis. I would miss reading it but life would go on.
Hang in there.
Lots of Love,
Mom aka the mother-in-law
Feel sorry for yourself