My experience as a father is different that what most fathers have. However it is clear to me that some things about being a father are universal. There is a mix of fear, joy, heatrbreak, pride, excitement, regret, questioning, learning and passion that makes fatherhood different than anthing else in life that a man can experience, and through it all runs a thread of love. All of the other emtions are merely offshoots of that love. A part of who you are is outside your body and beyond your control.

It takes more than contributing DNA to be a father. There are many people, who have fathered children, but are not fathers. There are also many people who are fathers to people who have no biological relation to them. Fatherhood is a decision and a comittment.

Today, I want to thank all of the people who have taught me how to be a father. These people are teachers, friends, fathers-of-friends, authors, and even TV personalities (like Mr. Rogers!). But, of course, there are two people who taught me more about being a father than all the others put together. One is my son Aiden Thomas who taught me more in 5 days than I have learned in almost thirty years about life, love, joy and pain.

The other is my own father. He became a father young, and like ever father, had to learn as he went. And as with anyone doing anything, he made mistakes along the way. He probably thinks he made more than he actually did. But he learned from those mistakes, and taught me to learn from those mistakes and my own as well. He taught me well, although some of the lessons took me a bit longer to learn than he might have liked. I'm proud of him, and whenever I do one of those questionaires that includes "Who is your hero?" I can answer without hesitation: "My Dad."

I'm not a country fan... but sometimes, they get it right.

There were times I thought he was being just a little bit hard on me
But now I understand he was making me become the man he knew that I could be
In everything he ever did he always did with love
And I'm proud today to say I'm his son
When somebody says I hope I get to meet your dad I just smile and say you already have
--Keith Urban

Aren't they just adorable.

This weekend we drove down to Bloomington to visit my Grandmother for Mother's day, which was quite a bit of fun. Saw several of my cousins who I haven't seen in quite some time, and had a nice visit overall. TBWITWW did not sleep well last night, so she stayed home from work. After she'd caught up a bit on her rest, we decided it was time to get started on our garden. We decided to do containers for some tomatoes and herbs (basil, chives, rosemary, and cilantro). We used empty cat litter buckets as the containers, and made our own potting soil using a mix of topsoil, compost, vermiculite, and a bit of fertilizer. It was grand, messy fun. We're going to plant some flowers along the back fence too. We've got three kinds of sunflowers and some marigolds that should give us a nice layered look. Once things get going I'll put up some pictures. All in all a good week, and I've still got one more day before I have to go back to work!

Today is the birthday of my wife, whom I refer to on this site as "The Best Wife In The Whole World". The only reason that I refer to her in this way is because, quite simply, she is the best wife in the whole world. I've known her more than half of my life, and grow more thankful by the day that I met her. I could make this post pages long attempting to explain how much she means to me, but that would be like trying to explain to someone who is both deaf and blind, the similarities between an opera and a sunset.

I love you Nicole.

I have been married to TBWITWW for 1461 days now. (That's exactly 4 years).

We've been through poorer, worse, sickness... although we haven't been without a little richer, better, and health. I can honestly say, I've been through things over the last 4 years that I don't believe I would have survived without her by my side. While the "two become one" thing is a bit cliche, it's true. What joy I have is doubled, and the pain is halved. I'm a better person because of her. I'm a stronger person because of her, and I'm a more whole person because of her.

We've been through depths of pain together that I wouldn't wish on the person I hated most in the world. We've been through joy that there aren't words to describe. Ever time I've needed a hand to hold, I found hers already there. Every time I've needed a shoulder to cry on, hers was there with arms to hold me tight. Every time I've held a smile in my heart, I've found it echoed in her laughter.

They haven't been perfect years, but they've been our years. We've had fights, but we've learned from them. We've made poor decisions, but we've recognized them. She's the mother of my son, the love of my life, and the reason I carry on.

I tell her I love her every day. Today, I want to add to that.

Thank you Nicole. I would not be me without you. I love you!

Today, my beautiful wife turns 30. She's ooooooooooold.

I've known her more than half of my life, and loved her for most of that time. I tease her ('cause she's old) but I know, without her, I'd probably still live in that studio apartment and I'd be fatter and smell worse.

I probably don't tell her enough, and I know I don't show her enough, how much she means to me. Nicole, you are the missing piece of my soul, my heart, and my mind. Without you, I am only a part of myself and can never be whole.

By the way, did I mention she's totally hot too?

Thank you.

(but you're still ooooooold.)

From my dad:

John is soliciting input on a monumental and important decision. should I shave off the beard or not? Goatee or all of it? Yeah, I told you it was important. The rules are:

1. Women's votes count more than men's votes do. If this offends you, get over it.
2. One woman has voted (a while back), and her votes don't count anymore.
3. Ballot-box stuffing is allowed- I figure if you care enough (or are bored enough) to vote more than once, you deserve to be counted more. Especially because Sean & Nicole are confirmed Chicago folks, they at least need to be able to vote several times
4. I have the right to reject and declare null and void anyvotes
5. Long-winded explanations of why you vote the way you do are accepted. They may be ignored, but if they're entertaining enough you might get more votes.
6. Deadline is when I decide it is.

For reference:

Comments to this post will be passed on to my father.