Today is her 32nd birthday. (You'd never know by looking at her though.) She's beautiful, funny, smart, tough, powerful, and sexy. (Stop looking at her like that.) We've been through a lot together, and I know that there is no way I'd be half the man I am without her behind me supporting me and kicking me in the ass when I needed it. We've known each other for half of our lives, and neither of us is the same person we were 16 years ago. We've been lucky to grow together, and make it through all the crap we've been through. When I refer to her as "The Best Wife In The Whole World", although I do intend for it to be amusing, I don't think I'm exagerating. (I fully expect that anyone who has a wife of their own may disagree with me, and they should, but they're wrong.)

Nicole, I love you and I'm constantly amazed at how lucky I am that you are my wife.

Happy Birthday!

My great-aunt Caroline had a major stroke the other night. She is responsive, but not fully concious at this point, and there is still some bleeding in the brain, so they do not know what the prognosis is at this point. Prayers and positive thoughts are appreciated for her and her husband as well as the rest of the family.

Update:
My grandmother has passed on that Caroline is still stable, and her husband is able to visit her regularly. They remain hopeful that she will be able to return home eventually.

Today is my father's birthday. I've said before, and I'll say again, that my father is my hero. I hope to be the kind of man he is. I hope to be the kind of father he is. I hope to be the kind of brother, son, husband, and friend he is. He's not perfect by any means, but to my knowledge only one person in history has any claim on that. He has made mistakes, and poor decisions in his life, but he's learned from them and grown from them. In the processes he allowed my brother and I to learn and grow from his mistakes, which allowed us to avoid having to make those same mistakes ourselves. Not that we always did avoid them. He's also been wise enough to know that you don't just teach your children, you also learn from them. It's been a two way street my whole life, even when I didn't appreciate or understand it.

But enough with the sentimental crap. I've written it before, and it doesn't get more true the more I say it. There's a lot of fun that I've gotten from my dad as well. My taste in music is largely influenced by my dad. There's a reason that I still think The Who is the greatest rock band ever, and that U2 is as smart as they are savvy. Thanks to him, I appreciate Robert Johnson and BB King. There's very little music that I can honestly say I can't stand, because he taught me that even in bad music there can be fun stuff that makes it worth a listen. Even as he went from working in a guitar store to being an accountant, he never once questioned the "sensibility" of choosing the arts as my profession. (Honestly I think he likes being an accountant though... which makes no sense to me.)

Yes, my dad is everything I want to be... a snob when it comes to beer, music and books; a political didact, opinionated, curmudgeonly, passionate and inquisative (and prone to using large words when it suits him). I'm proud of him, and I'm thrilled that he's proud of me.

Happy Birthday Dad! I love you.

First of all, I don't care for phones. My typical phone conversation lasts less than a minute and only happens if I feel I have an obligation to call someone, or ave to deal with a business and I can't take care of the business online... Or, when I want to talk to my parents. My brother, I talk to several times a week. My Mom and Dad, I've talked to once each since my brother's wedding at the end of July. The thing is, I don't sit still when I'm on the phone. I pace. I wander aimlessly through the apartment, which precludes getting anything actually done. This is no fault of theirs, it's just what I do, but that means when I talk on the phone, I'm not actually doing anything else, and I don't deal well with that most of the time. With instant messengers, I can chat while I'm working on stuff at the computer, or I can have the laptop running IM, and clean or work on other projects while I'm chatting. I can chat with several people at once. If my parents would log into IM while they were doing bills, or reading the news, or whatever it is they do with their computers, I'd talk to them a lot more than I do now.

So, am I crazy? Selfish? Spitting into the wind?

On September 28, 2002 (or 2000 if you believe the programs from the wedding) I married TBWITWW. Now, those who know me, may wonder how I managed to accomplish such a thing, as she's clearly out of my league. I wonder that my self, but I'm not about to question it. While my referral to her as "The Best Wife In the Whole World" is somewhat of a joke, it's not because I don't honestly believe that she is, in fact, TBWITWW. If you have a wife, and you think she's better, well... good for you. Everyone should be lucky enough to honestly believe that they got the best.

We've been through a lot in those 5 years. We've been at the point where we couldn't pay bills and weren't sure where grocery money was going to come from. We've had to move twice (in less than a year), not by choice. I've been a pall-bearer three times since the wedding. We lost Aiden and had a miscarriage. Our careers aren't where we expected them to be by a long shot. When we said "for better or for worse" I don't think either of us expected quite so much of the latter.

That said, I think, on the whole, it's been a good five years. I'm still in love with my wife. She still makes me smile when she walks in a room. She supports me when I need her help. She makes me laugh. She understands my obsessions and she understands the things I fail to pay attention to. We are a team, and to me, that is what makes a marriage. We've faced conflict and stress, we've had arguments. We've learned that we don't discuss politics well (mostly my fault). We've learned that our taste in art (music, painting, theatre, whatever) vary quite a bit, but with enough overlap that we can find a common ground. It's been an interesting process, and there's still a lot that we have to learn from and about each other. I'm looking forward to it.

I feel in a lot of ways that we are at a turning point for our relationship. We've reached a level where we are looking forward further than a paycheck or two down the road. Money is suddenly not the major decisive force in what we're able to do. We're ready to move forward, and we've got the wisdom and strength to make those moves. I'm looking forward to it.

While I could write a horrible poem, or ramble sappily on, that would annoy you, and still not express how I feel about my wife. She's amazing. She's exactly the person I need to be a complete person. I love you Nicole. I've loved you as my wife for more than 5 years. I've loved you for who you are for longer than that. And I'll love you as long as I have breath. I love you.

One of my best friends, Katie is having a baby tomorrow. The baby was due Tuesday, so they're inducing. I'm very excited for Katie and her husband Chris and I think they'll be fantastic parents. I'm looking forward to watching this baby grow and learn and do all those things that babies do that are very cute (and absolutely disgusting when anyone over 5 does them). But I have to admit to feeling some trepidation. Memories of Aiden's birth are coming back to me, and it's a little bit hard to sort out the joy that I'm feeling for Katie and Chris, from the scars that I will always carry. On the other hand, I'm ready for a reminder of how magical these tiny little people are.

Best of luck to Katie and Chris and the new little one who will be here soon.

UPDATE
Thomas Donald Pottroff
Born July 23, 2007
6:01pm
7lbs 5oz
21"

Mother and Baby are home and doing well.

My experience as a father is different that what most fathers have. However it is clear to me that some things about being a father are universal. There is a mix of fear, joy, heatrbreak, pride, excitement, regret, questioning, learning and passion that makes fatherhood different than anthing else in life that a man can experience, and through it all runs a thread of love. All of the other emtions are merely offshoots of that love. A part of who you are is outside your body and beyond your control.

It takes more than contributing DNA to be a father. There are many people, who have fathered children, but are not fathers. There are also many people who are fathers to people who have no biological relation to them. Fatherhood is a decision and a comittment.

Today, I want to thank all of the people who have taught me how to be a father. These people are teachers, friends, fathers-of-friends, authors, and even TV personalities (like Mr. Rogers!). But, of course, there are two people who taught me more about being a father than all the others put together. One is my son Aiden Thomas who taught me more in 5 days than I have learned in almost thirty years about life, love, joy and pain.

The other is my own father. He became a father young, and like ever father, had to learn as he went. And as with anyone doing anything, he made mistakes along the way. He probably thinks he made more than he actually did. But he learned from those mistakes, and taught me to learn from those mistakes and my own as well. He taught me well, although some of the lessons took me a bit longer to learn than he might have liked. I'm proud of him, and whenever I do one of those questionaires that includes "Who is your hero?" I can answer without hesitation: "My Dad."

I'm not a country fan... but sometimes, they get it right.

There were times I thought he was being just a little bit hard on me
But now I understand he was making me become the man he knew that I could be
In everything he ever did he always did with love
And I'm proud today to say I'm his son
When somebody says I hope I get to meet your dad I just smile and say you already have
--Keith Urban