Sunday evening, we had some friends over to celebrate TBWITWW's birthday. We had the usual insane quantities of food. I baked a cake. It was chocolate and had cherries. Apparently it was good. (I don't like chocolate, so I don't believe that it was all that great.) She got some fun gifts. (A jar of pickles!) and we played Wii and InPursuit (a cuthroat, team-based version for Trivial Pursuit.) And a grand time was had by all. We need to have people over more often.

Today is her 32nd birthday. (You'd never know by looking at her though.) She's beautiful, funny, smart, tough, powerful, and sexy. (Stop looking at her like that.) We've been through a lot together, and I know that there is no way I'd be half the man I am without her behind me supporting me and kicking me in the ass when I needed it. We've known each other for half of our lives, and neither of us is the same person we were 16 years ago. We've been lucky to grow together, and make it through all the crap we've been through. When I refer to her as "The Best Wife In The Whole World", although I do intend for it to be amusing, I don't think I'm exagerating. (I fully expect that anyone who has a wife of their own may disagree with me, and they should, but they're wrong.)

Nicole, I love you and I'm constantly amazed at how lucky I am that you are my wife.

Happy Birthday!

On September 28, 2002 (or 2000 if you believe the programs from the wedding) I married TBWITWW. Now, those who know me, may wonder how I managed to accomplish such a thing, as she's clearly out of my league. I wonder that my self, but I'm not about to question it. While my referral to her as "The Best Wife In the Whole World" is somewhat of a joke, it's not because I don't honestly believe that she is, in fact, TBWITWW. If you have a wife, and you think she's better, well... good for you. Everyone should be lucky enough to honestly believe that they got the best.

We've been through a lot in those 5 years. We've been at the point where we couldn't pay bills and weren't sure where grocery money was going to come from. We've had to move twice (in less than a year), not by choice. I've been a pall-bearer three times since the wedding. We lost Aiden and had a miscarriage. Our careers aren't where we expected them to be by a long shot. When we said "for better or for worse" I don't think either of us expected quite so much of the latter.

That said, I think, on the whole, it's been a good five years. I'm still in love with my wife. She still makes me smile when she walks in a room. She supports me when I need her help. She makes me laugh. She understands my obsessions and she understands the things I fail to pay attention to. We are a team, and to me, that is what makes a marriage. We've faced conflict and stress, we've had arguments. We've learned that we don't discuss politics well (mostly my fault). We've learned that our taste in art (music, painting, theatre, whatever) vary quite a bit, but with enough overlap that we can find a common ground. It's been an interesting process, and there's still a lot that we have to learn from and about each other. I'm looking forward to it.

I feel in a lot of ways that we are at a turning point for our relationship. We've reached a level where we are looking forward further than a paycheck or two down the road. Money is suddenly not the major decisive force in what we're able to do. We're ready to move forward, and we've got the wisdom and strength to make those moves. I'm looking forward to it.

While I could write a horrible poem, or ramble sappily on, that would annoy you, and still not express how I feel about my wife. She's amazing. She's exactly the person I need to be a complete person. I love you Nicole. I've loved you as my wife for more than 5 years. I've loved you for who you are for longer than that. And I'll love you as long as I have breath. I love you.

TBWITWW and I are rapidly approaching our 5th anniversary. It's been a heck of a long 5 years, but lucky for me she's still hot. (Okay, she is, but all of the things that are actually more important are being saved for an acutal mushy, sickeningly sweet sort of post a few weeks from now.) (And, she's totally hot.) Anyway, we decided quite some time ago, that with the credit cards paid off, and our finances in better shape than they've ever been, we would actually go on a trip for our anniversary. The question of where to go was a bit harder to decide on. We're not the resort type.

When Skippy and Chris J Davis suggested that I should try to come to Ohio Linux Fest I looked at the dates and said "I somehow doubt that TBWITWW is going to want to go to a Linux convention on the day after our anniversary." But I had forgotten one detail. She is, in fact, TBWITWW.

Seriously. Here she is getting me a beer, the pressure was low, so she decided the thing to do was to squat down on the floor to get the nozzle below the top of the keg. I was just going to wait till it was repressurized.

On with the story... Later that evening, she was looking over my shoulder at the computer and saw, in the IRC window, the converstation. She said "We could probably do that. We can find fun stuff to do in Columbus as easily as anywhere else." So, with my geekyness, and her closet geekyness and desire to meet these people I talk to more frequently than people I've actually met in real life, We're going to OLF.

I'm looking forward to this trip for a lot of reasons. It's first real vacation that we've taken where we're not worried about if the money it's costing is going to hurt us down the road. We'll be able to relax and enjoy ourselves, knowing that when we get back, we won't have bills waiting that we're not sure if we'll be able to pay. It's also a chance to meet some people that I consider friends, but have never been in the same city as. And, as a firm beliver that community is more than a buzz word, but rather the fundamental requirement for civilization, it's a chance to strengthen my ties to a community that's made me feel more accepted than almost any I've seen.

My wife is:

Seriously.

I have been married to TBWITWW for 1461 days now. (That's exactly 4 years).

We've been through poorer, worse, sickness... although we haven't been without a little richer, better, and health. I can honestly say, I've been through things over the last 4 years that I don't believe I would have survived without her by my side. While the "two become one" thing is a bit cliche, it's true. What joy I have is doubled, and the pain is halved. I'm a better person because of her. I'm a stronger person because of her, and I'm a more whole person because of her.

We've been through depths of pain together that I wouldn't wish on the person I hated most in the world. We've been through joy that there aren't words to describe. Ever time I've needed a hand to hold, I found hers already there. Every time I've needed a shoulder to cry on, hers was there with arms to hold me tight. Every time I've held a smile in my heart, I've found it echoed in her laughter.

They haven't been perfect years, but they've been our years. We've had fights, but we've learned from them. We've made poor decisions, but we've recognized them. She's the mother of my son, the love of my life, and the reason I carry on.

I tell her I love her every day. Today, I want to add to that.

Thank you Nicole. I would not be me without you. I love you!