You'll notice that I rarely, if ever, talk about my employment on this site (or on-line at all). This is more about maintaining a balance between my work and my personal life than about any concern with repercussions for what I say here.My work position is fairly unique. I'm a theatrical lighting technician who works in a retail store. I've been with the company for 7 1/2 years. I've got full benefits, vacation and a 401k, and I work a 40 hour week every week. All of this is quite unusual for a theatrical technician, especially without being in the union. It's somewhat surreal.

This morning, it was announced that the theater will be closing in the fall. So, after 8 years in the same position, I'll be moving on. This is something I've been thinking and talking about for some time, but not had the motivation or the nerve to actually take that step. Now I've got the kick in the ass I need to get moving. It's going to be rough to make this transition, but I think, in the end, it's for the best. It's time to take the next step.

I've got a lot to learn about job hunting, and I've got a lot to decide about what I want to do with my life from this point on. A fourth of my life has been spent in this job, so leaving isn't easy, but at the same time, it's time to expand my horizons and, as they say... "take these broken wings and learn to fly again.

Yeah... I went there.

Know anyone who's going to need a lighting tech this fall?

I'll be 30 years old in a few hours. On my birthday in 1989 United Airlines flight 232 crashed in Sioux City, Iowa killing 112 of the 296 passengers. People not from the Midwest were amazed at the fact that the people of the area did so much to help deal with this.

Also Born on July 19th:
1814 - Samuel Colt, American firearms inventor (d. 1862)
1834 - Edgar Degas, French painter (d. 1917)
1860 - Lizzie Borden, American accused murderer (d. 1927)
1962 - Anthony Edwards, American actor

And these people, none of whom I've ever heard of, are also turning 30 with me.
Charles John Spencer, American professional wrestler
Haitham Mustafa, Sudanese footballer
Jean-Sébastien Aubin, Canadian ice hockey goaltender

Nifty.

Today, I walked out of the apartment, into the backyard. I smelled grilling hotdogs. I heard firecrackers on one side and a nail gun on the other side. In the background, someone was playing Journey. It's moments like that when you realize that Life really is kind of amazing. Since them, I've gone to a baseball game, had some hot dogs and nachos. Came home to the neighbors putting on fireworks displays that would make some small towns jealous. Now, I'm having pretzels and beer.

Pretty sweet.

My experience as a father is different that what most fathers have. However it is clear to me that some things about being a father are universal. There is a mix of fear, joy, heatrbreak, pride, excitement, regret, questioning, learning and passion that makes fatherhood different than anthing else in life that a man can experience, and through it all runs a thread of love. All of the other emtions are merely offshoots of that love. A part of who you are is outside your body and beyond your control.

It takes more than contributing DNA to be a father. There are many people, who have fathered children, but are not fathers. There are also many people who are fathers to people who have no biological relation to them. Fatherhood is a decision and a comittment.

Today, I want to thank all of the people who have taught me how to be a father. These people are teachers, friends, fathers-of-friends, authors, and even TV personalities (like Mr. Rogers!). But, of course, there are two people who taught me more about being a father than all the others put together. One is my son Aiden Thomas who taught me more in 5 days than I have learned in almost thirty years about life, love, joy and pain.

The other is my own father. He became a father young, and like ever father, had to learn as he went. And as with anyone doing anything, he made mistakes along the way. He probably thinks he made more than he actually did. But he learned from those mistakes, and taught me to learn from those mistakes and my own as well. He taught me well, although some of the lessons took me a bit longer to learn than he might have liked. I'm proud of him, and whenever I do one of those questionaires that includes "Who is your hero?" I can answer without hesitation: "My Dad."

I'm not a country fan... but sometimes, they get it right.

There were times I thought he was being just a little bit hard on me
But now I understand he was making me become the man he knew that I could be
In everything he ever did he always did with love
And I'm proud today to say I'm his son
When somebody says I hope I get to meet your dad I just smile and say you already have
--Keith Urban

It's been said that everyone rises to their own level of incompetence. You may ask "what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Well, basically... as long as you can actually do your job, you keep getting promoted. Once you get promoted into a job you can't do, you stop getting promoted. So there you are sitting in a job you can't do, and no one will move you back down to the job you could do, because that would mean those who are higher up than you would have to admit that they were wrong. and we can't have that, now can we.
Now... to an extent this is true... with the exception of the fact that all of those people above you are probably incompetent for their jobs too, so they probably don't recognize the difference between ability and incompetence. So the structure becomes more and more top heavy with incompetents. And that's why life's a bitch. Whatever... I guess that's why hard work has to be it's own reward, because God knows... that's about the only reward you're getting.